The Life, The Love & The Lesson
A DAUGHTER:
With a very short span of time to be with my father, i could
still say i was lucky enough that i was never deprived from
parental love.
My life as a daughter was fast paced. the progression from
childhood days, pre-teen growing pains and teenage angst
which occasionally jumbled together in a confusing mix that
left me wondering who I was, where I was going, and whether
it's possible to just stay a kid forever or speed up
time to finally be an adult already.
Spending most of my growing up years in a cloistered nun
school, i would say i was not a pious child though i knew i
was a smart one. i had few but precious friends and my goal
was to find fulfillment in parties, beauty contests in school
and to be a"Farah Fawcett look alike". It was a
above all, a liberating experience - I was free!
But we know damn well how it is to have a mother with a little
Hitler blood...she would always follow me, check on
me. She was more of a disciplinarian than my father. We
had our fair share of disagreement but whether she agrees
with me or not, at the end of the day, I know she had my
best interests at heart and that she only wanted what was
best for me. She believed in me and encouraged me when no
one else did even when I was at my worst. I wasn’t
always the easiest to handle, so was her.....
I grew up independent, I worked on my own. Being the single
daughter in the family, fulfilling the obligation of being
the only child, I demonstrated all the characteristics of
being the "firstborn and lastborn"...that was
not an easy task.
The very first separation from my mom was surely painful. i
had to leave to fulfill my ambitions and goals. Survival...that defined it. Although i was achieving
my dreams, there was still a part of me that left me
empty and unfulfilled. This feeling remained until the day i asked her to come along with
me. Bitter or sweet, life with a mother around is always fulfilling.
Mama witnessed every step of my life: the day i entered the
next stage, my wedding day and being a
mother. Of course there were jungle moments with the kids and
their father. That was the groundwork of redefining the
parameters of our relationship, accommodating another
person in the family, differences and allowing a more
natural rhythm. Our connection was continuously tested
over time, especially since I already had children of my
own. Then and again, she was with me all the way...through
thick and thin.
Mama left without a word, without any premonitions at
all. It was the saddest day of my life. My kids are
already grown up, having lives of their own. I knew how
it felt to be alone when i was born, and it was the
last thing that i felt when she finally closed her eyes. It brought me back to my
childhood days, when all i could see was a mother and a
daughter - mom and me, me and my mom...our struggles, our
love story, our fights and our silent moments.
I am my mother's daughter.
With a very short span of time to be with my father, i could
still say i was lucky enough that i was never deprived from
parental love.
My life as a daughter was fast paced. the progression from
childhood days, pre-teen growing pains and teenage angst
which occasionally jumbled together in a confusing mix that
left me wondering who I was, where I was going, and whether
it's possible to just stay a kid forever or speed up
time to finally be an adult already.
Spending most of my growing up years in a cloistered nun
school, i would say i was not a pious child though i knew i
was a smart one. i had few but precious friends and my goal
was to find fulfillment in parties, beauty contests in school
and to be a"Farah Fawcett look alike". It was a
above all, a liberating experience - I was free!
But we know damn well how it is to have a mother with a little
Hitler blood...she would always follow me, check on
me. She was more of a disciplinarian than my father. We
had our fair share of disagreement but whether she agrees
with me or not, at the end of the day, I know she had my
best interests at heart and that she only wanted what was
best for me. She believed in me and encouraged me when no
one else did even when I was at my worst. I wasn’t
always the easiest to handle, so was her.....
I grew up independent, I worked on my own. Being the single
daughter in the family, fulfilling the obligation of being
the only child, I demonstrated all the characteristics of
being the "firstborn and lastborn"...that was
not an easy task.
The very first separation from my mom was surely painful. i
had to leave to fulfill my ambitions and goals. Survival...that defined it. Although i was achieving
my dreams, there was still a part of me that left me
empty and unfulfilled. This feeling remained until the day i asked her to come along with
me. Bitter or sweet, life with a mother around is always fulfilling.
Mama witnessed every step of my life: the day i entered the
next stage, my wedding day and being a
mother. Of course there were jungle moments with the kids and
their father. That was the groundwork of redefining the
parameters of our relationship, accommodating another
person in the family, differences and allowing a more
natural rhythm. Our connection was continuously tested
over time, especially since I already had children of my
own. Then and again, she was with me all the way...through
thick and thin.
Mama left without a word, without any premonitions at
all. It was the saddest day of my life. My kids are
already grown up, having lives of their own. I knew how
it felt to be alone when i was born, and it was the
last thing that i felt when she finally closed her eyes. It brought me back to my
childhood days, when all i could see was a mother and a
daughter - mom and me, me and my mom...our struggles, our
love story, our fights and our silent moments.
I am my mother's daughter.