The Life, The Love and The Lessons
MOTHERHOOD:
The first and purest of all kinds of love is...A Mother's love.
It is lasting, strong and most of all...UNCONDITIONAL. It
begins with your birth, and ends with her death. It will
follow you through childhood, youth, from the cradle to
the grave - if not in reality, in memory.
I am grateful I have been through hardship, heartbreak and
turmoil because I can stand here today and thank God for the
person I have become. A strong, independent woman who if she
has to, can walk a life in her own shoes knowing I have the
power, mind and strength to believe i am worth the life i
have been given. Being a Mother of four, i must
admit i had been a lone mother who took up the
responsibility of raising my children post a divorce. It
was a very challenging task - being a female. I had to
make up for the father's absence, providing for their
upbringing and education. I had to have a lucrative and
satisfying job that would manage all their
needs. People keep saying, 'Oh, you're a
single mom.' and I say, 'Actually, I'm not.
I have four children who will be with me and i know
someday who will walk with me when my legs could not touch
the ground no more. The bond that my children
developed with me will never be severed, they grew as an
organism within me for nine months. When my children were
born the cord was severed physically but it was never severed in
heart. That bond lasts forever. As we grow up we become our
own people and may come to forget that woman who nurtured
and loved us. That is the greatest pain a mother can
feel: growing old missing the kids who used to
run, play, cry, fight, hug you and kiss you. We can't stop
them from growing up and a mother's love will always
remains the same...near or far.
The first and purest of all kinds of love is...A Mother's love.
It is lasting, strong and most of all...UNCONDITIONAL. It
begins with your birth, and ends with her death. It will
follow you through childhood, youth, from the cradle to
the grave - if not in reality, in memory.
I am grateful I have been through hardship, heartbreak and
turmoil because I can stand here today and thank God for the
person I have become. A strong, independent woman who if she
has to, can walk a life in her own shoes knowing I have the
power, mind and strength to believe i am worth the life i
have been given. Being a Mother of four, i must
admit i had been a lone mother who took up the
responsibility of raising my children post a divorce. It
was a very challenging task - being a female. I had to
make up for the father's absence, providing for their
upbringing and education. I had to have a lucrative and
satisfying job that would manage all their
needs. People keep saying, 'Oh, you're a
single mom.' and I say, 'Actually, I'm not.
I have four children who will be with me and i know
someday who will walk with me when my legs could not touch
the ground no more. The bond that my children
developed with me will never be severed, they grew as an
organism within me for nine months. When my children were
born the cord was severed physically but it was never severed in
heart. That bond lasts forever. As we grow up we become our
own people and may come to forget that woman who nurtured
and loved us. That is the greatest pain a mother can
feel: growing old missing the kids who used to
run, play, cry, fight, hug you and kiss you. We can't stop
them from growing up and a mother's love will always
remains the same...near or far.
LESSONS:
There is not one book out there that can teach us how to be a
perfect parent. You may find one on what to do when your
child is sick, the symptoms to look for or a guide to teaching them the
ABCs. You can find a lot of psychology books talking about emotions,
behaviors...etc. But even if you compile them all together, it still does not give
you the perfect formula to become a perfect parent. Now lets
complicate matters---SINGLE PARENT.
Now that is altogether a different story.
There were a lot of moments in my life especially when my kids
were becoming adults, that I told myself I was the worst mother in
the world. This is due to the outcome of where I am now and where they
are. I will never pretend that I am having such a wonderful time right
now that they are all gone. All of my children broke my heart.
I tried to be the opposite of my mom when it came to bringing my
children up. In the end, I felt that it was also the incorrect formula. I
learned a lesson from each of my children on how to become a parent. I
never got to practice it so I honestly don't know if it would have
turned out right.
So if I am to share a lesson in this mask, it is nothing deep or
analytical but rather simple: Love your children unconditionally. Accept them for
who they are and what they have become. Do not blame
yourself that they did not turn out right because regardless of what
they chose to do it is not because you were a bad parent.
They are just taking their turn to learn their own lessons
in life. As long as you know that: you provided them the foundation that
will equip them to make good decisions, that even if they fall you gave
them the strength to stand up, and you guided them into a life of faith
that we have God to always turn to as we deal with every day - then you
brought them up fine. You can then claim and say: "I am a perfect parent."
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that you should compromise
what you still believe is right even when your kids are all grown
up and living independently. There is a reason why they say age
makes us wiser. We make mistakes even when we are at our 40's so
the same thing goes when they are at their 20's or 30's. I have
kept my ground no matter what. My children still knows what I
approve of and not. I still make them feel when they are making a
mistake and I still let them know I disagree. I have a child who counters
this and masks life events as the greatest excuse in life and even turns
around and blames me for everything that is happening --- what do I do?
I smile and tell myself --- this child does not even know I have used that tactic
when I was that age and guess what?... it does not work. I have a child
who continues to choose being in a situation that I totally disapprove
of and yet does not realize that this is the very thing that will make life
more miserable --- how can life be happy when from the get go it was
wrong. You can never make a wrong decision right. I have another child
who is so lost and I myself am lost....its a work in progress and can I
only pray that one day things will turn out to be just fine. The other
child is so much into the world of dreaming that there is still no
realization that dreams without real inspiration from what really
matters in this world is a dream that fails....
I stay awake at times still questioning, full of fear and
then I just turn to the most powerful God and lift
them all up to Him. I surrender...
until I wake up....
Parenting never ends....until you just drift into oblivion and meet your Creator...
There is not one book out there that can teach us how to be a
perfect parent. You may find one on what to do when your
child is sick, the symptoms to look for or a guide to teaching them the
ABCs. You can find a lot of psychology books talking about emotions,
behaviors...etc. But even if you compile them all together, it still does not give
you the perfect formula to become a perfect parent. Now lets
complicate matters---SINGLE PARENT.
Now that is altogether a different story.
There were a lot of moments in my life especially when my kids
were becoming adults, that I told myself I was the worst mother in
the world. This is due to the outcome of where I am now and where they
are. I will never pretend that I am having such a wonderful time right
now that they are all gone. All of my children broke my heart.
I tried to be the opposite of my mom when it came to bringing my
children up. In the end, I felt that it was also the incorrect formula. I
learned a lesson from each of my children on how to become a parent. I
never got to practice it so I honestly don't know if it would have
turned out right.
So if I am to share a lesson in this mask, it is nothing deep or
analytical but rather simple: Love your children unconditionally. Accept them for
who they are and what they have become. Do not blame
yourself that they did not turn out right because regardless of what
they chose to do it is not because you were a bad parent.
They are just taking their turn to learn their own lessons
in life. As long as you know that: you provided them the foundation that
will equip them to make good decisions, that even if they fall you gave
them the strength to stand up, and you guided them into a life of faith
that we have God to always turn to as we deal with every day - then you
brought them up fine. You can then claim and say: "I am a perfect parent."
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that you should compromise
what you still believe is right even when your kids are all grown
up and living independently. There is a reason why they say age
makes us wiser. We make mistakes even when we are at our 40's so
the same thing goes when they are at their 20's or 30's. I have
kept my ground no matter what. My children still knows what I
approve of and not. I still make them feel when they are making a
mistake and I still let them know I disagree. I have a child who counters
this and masks life events as the greatest excuse in life and even turns
around and blames me for everything that is happening --- what do I do?
I smile and tell myself --- this child does not even know I have used that tactic
when I was that age and guess what?... it does not work. I have a child
who continues to choose being in a situation that I totally disapprove
of and yet does not realize that this is the very thing that will make life
more miserable --- how can life be happy when from the get go it was
wrong. You can never make a wrong decision right. I have another child
who is so lost and I myself am lost....its a work in progress and can I
only pray that one day things will turn out to be just fine. The other
child is so much into the world of dreaming that there is still no
realization that dreams without real inspiration from what really
matters in this world is a dream that fails....
I stay awake at times still questioning, full of fear and
then I just turn to the most powerful God and lift
them all up to Him. I surrender...
until I wake up....
Parenting never ends....until you just drift into oblivion and meet your Creator...